Clutter can make me crazy. Crumbs and stickiness on the floor bother me a lot. I really don’t like dirty bathrooms and dust. But you know what? I’ve got five kids. And they aren’t exactly neat freaks.
I’ve learned to let a lot of things slide a bit in the interest of putting the kids ahead of the house. I’ve embraced the phrase “Clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy.” But still, there are things that need to be done around here for the purposes of my sanity and our home’s sanitation.
We used to get up Saturday mornings and clean, clean, clean. Everyone chose jobs from a job list I’d make and we’d send the kids off to do what needed to be done. But we quickly learned that kids (even older ones) don’t clean well without lots of directions and supervision. And we learned that Saturday mornings full of parents getting after kids to complete half-finished jobs just weren’t fun for anyone.
So we came up with a new system involving bite-sized daily housework and a “certification” system and things are going much better!
1. Bite-sized daily housework
We now do a little work every day. I made a list of small things that need to be done around the house, things that take 5-10 minutes to complete. The kids each pick one thing off the list to do every day after school (they did two things on the list in the summer when they had more time and the house got messier with everyone around more). Then on Saturday morning, we do a few larger jobs together (like work on the backyard or do some detail cleaning in one area of the house). My husband takes one group of kids and I take another and we talk and enjoy some quality time together as we tackle one or two jobs that are quite manageable and can be done really well in about an hour.
With this system, the house isn’t ever all clean at the same time. But that’s OK. It’s nice having at least some areas of the house quite clean at any given moment. And we’re all a lot happier when cleaning is a small part of every day rather than a huge and painful part of Saturday.
Click below to download a full-size version of my bite-sized housework list and adjust it for your family’s needs.
Bite-Sized Housework List – PDF
2. Job Certification
Another thing that has really helped is job certification.
My husband and I have realized something that should have been pretty obvious. Kids don’t know how to do jobs unless we teach them how to do them. They need us to show them how to do things and work alongside them until they get it down. Then they need checklists for exactly what needs to be done to clean a toilet or vacuum a room or whatever needs to be done. And we’ve started “certifying” our kids on certain jobs and requiring that only “certified” kids do certain jobs by themselves. (I got the certification idea from Marrilee Boyack’s excellent book, The Parenting Breakthrough.)
Here’s my son Oliver certifying in sink cleaning. He was so proud to be certified and now when a sink needs cleaning, he’s excited to be able to do that job.
Realistic expectations.
Small bite-sized jobs.
Job training.
This stuff has made a huge difference in the happiness and cleanliness of our home
Question: What tips and ideas would you add?
Challenge: Do something this week to change the way that housework is done in your home.
LOVE IT, Saren. Thanks for the list. I love lists!
Love the certification part! makes it mean more to them and they take ownership!
This is my observation – our Saturdays were full of games!! Soccer in spring and fall, basketball in winter, sleepovers all through the year (so they didn’t get home until about 11 am. I didn’t have more than 2 kids participating at once, and Daddy had games, so it took up most of the day Saturday. Soo—you have 5 kids closer together in age, how do you pull this off with all the activities on Saturdays?? How do you get Daddy to “buy in” to this? My hb wouldn’t have anything to do it – it was the “woman’s job.”
Yes, Saturdays are busy for many families so this bite-sized daily housework can really be a great solution. If we do a little housework every day and sometimes a larger-scale group project on Saturdays, things work quite nicely. And dads are much more likely to be interested in heading up projects they personally enjoy and/or care about when it comes to Saturday jobs. My husband likes doing outside work with the kids like weeding, working on the lawn, working on the bikes, etc. But he’s great about doing housework as well!
I love how earnest your little Oliver is. I remember my mom making colorful laminated cards with detailed instructions on how to clean a bathroom properly, step by step. I was a snotty teen at the time, so didn’t think they were all that cool, but NOW I think it was brilliant… and I sure know how to clean a bathroom! I might combine the laminated cards (which my mom kept in the cleaning supply caddy) with the certification process.
Great idea to have laminated step-by-step cards spelling out what needs to be done for regular cleaning jobs right there with the cleaning products.
Cute boy! I can’t believe how much you sound like Shawnee on video! Certifications are a great idea. It’s true, I do just assume sometimes that my kids know what they’re doing and I need to remember that they need more training to be able to do a really good job. Thanks for the reminder!
How cute is he?? This is a great idea – I like that it gives the kids a sense of accomplishment and pride in being an expert at something.
Thanks Saren for breaking down the bathroom into different parts to clean. We’ve been working on bathroom certification but it didn’t occur to me to do sinks, floors, toilet, bathtub, etc. separately. That is so much less daunting to my kids and me. Just what I needed to see. Thanks!
Okay, he is just the cutest thing. LOVE it!
Saren, I love this and am printing the sheets now! It is SO true that if we take the time to TEACH it will save us time in the long run (and it builds up such confidence)!
I notice on there that you have that the kids rooms should be picked up daily before bedtime. Can you send me a little more about this? We are having a messy room battle right now and I’d love to know how you encourage them to clean their space up each evening and if there are consequences if their space is not cleaned up. Thanks so much!
This is all part of a larger systems of points that we have in our family (and that is spelled out in our “Work and Money” program you can find in our Power of Moms store). The kids get daily points for getting to the breakfast table on time in the morning, doing their homework and reading, doing their daily after-dinner job and “home point” (something from the list included above), and getting to bed on time. Part of the bedtime point includes having their clothes set out for the next day and having their room straightened (nothing on the floor, books and papers neatly stacked, etc. – usually takes like 5 minutes). I often help them with the straightening a bit as I get ready to tuck them in. Then on Saturdays, they vacuum and dust their rooms and once a month, they clean out under their beds and do some more detail-work in their rooms.
That’s what works for us!
Great ideas! As an additional resource on this topic, I love the book, “The Parenting Breakthrough” by Merillee Boyack, because she talks about doing this very thing, certification or training a child to do a specific job well. She has a huge list of skills and jobs that she wants all her children to know before they leave her home and she implements a systematic “training program” with her family. Very inspirational!
Marcina: Yes, I LOVE the Parenting Breakthrough. I read it ages ago and I’m sure some of my ideas came through Marillee Boyack’s ideas but I didn’t remember that until you mentioned it. Thanks Marillee for the wonderful ideas and I’m sure she explains a lot more details on certification and other important things in her book.
I love that certification thing! I’ll have to try it soon. I think if I make a video of each certification, then if she forgets (the only one I could certify in anything is 5 years old), I could let her watch the video again as a reminder. 🙂
Great idea! Making a video or doing little checklists for each job can really help our kids remember what they’re supposed to do without having to ask us every time.
I love this because it means there is accountability. There is no excuse for the job not to be done well. A mentoring mom I knew scheduled 15 minute slots of time into her schedule for chore training. The certifying takes it one step further. It says, an adult is trusting that you can do this well.
I was just praying on this very issue! My obsession as a stay at home mom tells me my job is to keep the house orderly and clean. HOWEVER, Gods job for me is to come along side my children and teach and help them in the responsibility of caring for the home. To create a sanctuary for ALL of us on the weekends because my husband works hard all week and so do my boys with school and sports. Creating bonding moments over responsibility is a great idea and a great redirection to meet so many more goals then just cleaning! Thank you for this post!
I too found myself hounding everyone Saturday morning to get the house clean. Between sleepovers (which are at special occasions only now that my older 3 are teenagers), ball games, heading to the cabin, or teenagers wanting to sleep in- we have what at our house is called Friday Jobs. So before anyone celebrates the weekend, their Friday jobs must be done. Each child is responsible for their bedroom, and one other job. Ex. Family Room- picked up, vacuumed, dusted- Bathroom clean- van clean, vacuumed, wiped down- kitchen floor swept & mopped. Now remember I do have 3 teenagers who can do more than my younger two. Then Saturday morning if my husband decides there is something going on in the community he wants us all to attend we are already with a clean house. They each also have a “moms helper” job after school that takes about 5 min. ex. Wash the front window & back sliding doors- fold towels- sweep front porch. It just helps keep the little things done.
Lisa:
Sounds like you’ve got a great system and that you’ve discovered what I’ve discovered – small daily jobs are much better than big jobs that just don’t fit with our busy weekends. I love helping kids realize that our home is everyone’s responsibility and seeing that kids of all ages can make a real contribution once expectations are made really clear.
Can you tell us what jobs require certification? I’d love to make a list of those, to go with the new cleaning checklist I’ve made (modeled after your excellent example). Thanks! 🙂
Great question. Jobs that require certification are: mopping, cleaning toilets, cleaning sinks, cleaning windows and mirrors, detail-cleaning the kitchen counters (behind and under things), vacuuming (learning how to use the attachments and correct vacuum settings, empty it when full, get into the corners, etc). Really, you could do a simple certification for just about any job. And the more we show our children exactly what to do, the better chance that they’ll feel confident and do a good job.
I love this post! I have been trying to think of a positive way to teach chores. The training system with certification is brilliant! Little Oliver did a super job and he was so proud and you were so encouraging. I learn so much here!
Thank you for this post. Specific posts about exactly what you do to make your home run smoothly are my favorite. Why is vacuuming the middle of a room and the edges two different jobs?
Good question about the vacuuming, Laura. Vacuuming the middle is pretty straight-forward and makes for a nice quick job that can be done in conjunction with vacuuming the middle of nearby rooms. But vacuuming the edges involves using the crevice attachment and/or the brush attachment and moving some furniture around and it is a little more involved than vacuuming the middle. I usually have my older children do the edges while it’s fun and easy for little ones to do the middle.
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Thanks for posting a demo, I’ve heard you talk about certification in a few podcasts so it helps to see it. And your son is adorable! I think it’ll help for my boys to see this too. One thought for other topics to support this is healthy cleaning products like the resources Healthy Child Healthy World organization. Having kids do jobs is great, and a lot of parents don’t realize the impacts of standard cleaners on kids health. That is especially true for anyone that has any sort of breathing issues, even scented laundry detergent on pillow cases. It can even relate to behavior, there’s studies where they clean a classroom with a harsh chlorine product and the kids handwriting abilities are measurably impaired.
Teaching children how to do tasks and chores really helps them feel they are a part of the family…so it’s almost like it’s not really about the “chore” as much as teaching responsibility and working together as a family. I agree with Stacy that using non-toxic is vitally important. I’m familiar with the resource from Healthy Child Healthy World. Going green is a great idea for all of us to protect the environment, but especially for our children in our homes.
This is great. We started talking about and implementing “family contributions” from one of the conference speakers. I’ve made lists and such, we do some chores together, but never seems to become a consistent routine. My son is 7 and daughter is 4. So for example, with dads help and supervision they would wipe clean and help clear off tables. But some nights they just bring their food to the counter when they are done, or I finish their leftovers and end up just taking their plates under mine. And sometimes the table is not that dirty we just skip cleaning it. And I guess I just feel second nature to cleaning everything. They do clean up when asked most times, some times with gripes, but overall I takeover kitchen, sweep, vacuum, mop. They do fold laundry when asked but I try not to correct too much. I’m just happy they are trying. And I do try to get them to keep a clean sink after brushing teeth cuz that gets really dirty.
I guess I’m stuck on the fact that, after school, the day already goes by so fast with having to do homework, cook, and still tidying up, and with 3 days of sports, feeling like I have to ask my son to “help” with another thing, makes me feel like he will gripe more.
When I do ask them to do chores like pick up their things… it’s more like on a whim, or in the moment.
I Will do my best to “promote” or “implement” this new system of a small thing each day though because I know we are all participants in this home.
Thank you, Siren, I really enjoyed the idea of job certification. and I am planning to use the second page of the worksheet with adaptation /addition of our chores. it did help when i left instructions if I ad to be away for a day or two. and I know its true children do not clan well without instructions and occasional supervision. what I did want to mention that in our house we are committed to using healthier and safer cleaning suppliers like baking soda and vinegar or just vinegar diluted spray bottle and rags. do you teach your children to wash and hang rags they have used? how about rinsing off that chemical residue at the end? I think its better washed away still. (unless that spray was a healthy choice already) . Thank you so much.
My kids (2 and 5 year-old girls) may be too young to be certified but they are already eager to help around the house. As soon as mommy is cleaning, they pull out their toy broom or vacuum or get small rags from their toy kitchen. At times, it doubles the time to complete the task at hand but I want to encourage their eagerness to keep their house clean until they’re ready to be certified.
Thank you for the list. I’m struggling with my 13 month and almost 3 year old messing up the house faster than I can keep up. I do have them “help” me, but it’s just more playtime for them really. Do I just need to suffer through the early years before actual cleaning can happen? Thanks!
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Great post! I’m always trying to clean my house and make sure that it’s properly sanitized!
Thanks for this good reminder! It’s always good to start somewhere. Having these tips is such a good way to save money too.
Such a nice well-thought out, comprehensive post! Thanks! I definitely relate to that feeling you get when you want to change things around. I’m currently working on getting rid of everything that isn’t useful or isn’t beautiful in my home.