Is it OK for our children to have smart phones? Should they be able to have their phones in their rooms at night? Should we set limits on how much time they spend doing different things on their phones and on the computer? What are some ways to monitor what they are doing on their phones and computers? What should we be discussing with our children when it comes to technology use?
In this episode, April and Saren share their struggles and ideas when it comes to monitoring our children’s technology use. Different answers will be right for different families and different children, but the content of this episode will be helpful for all moms as they navigate today’s technology with their families.
Show Notes
https://poweroffamilies.com/phone-rules-for-kids/
https://poweroffamilies.com/children-happiness-and-screen-time/
https://poweroffamilies.com/qa-managing-social-media-and-technology/
Photo: Newton Daly/Getty Images
Music from Creations by Michael R. Hicks
Audio editing by Christy Elder
“A phone is a tool, not a toy” is the mantra that is working for our family right now. I agree that ongoing conversations are essential. For now, we are encouraging private email and texts over social media, so they can develop deeper friendships and manage missteps privately.
What about taking phones to school. That’s an issue for us right now. My daughter wants to listen to music on the bus and sometimes the teachers let them look things up or do simple research on their phones during class. And I like being able to connect with her during lunch when she texts and says how her day is going. But at the same time, I want her to not have the phone to hide behind. Talk to people on the bus instead of listen to music, etc. Thoughts?
We have recently had some of the same questions in my home. I’ll give you two perspectives, one as a mom and one as a teacher.
As a mom I am noticing less availability of phones at school. I do not want my child using the phone (as a phone) during the school day, but if she was to miss the bus after sports practice there have been times where she couldn’t get to a phone. For that reason it seems legitimate to me. And if music keeps her sane on the bus, great. She will talk to people once she’s at school (I would think).
As a middle level/high school teacher, and these are only my opinions, phones can be useful, but not for the phone part, except after school. We are starting to use devices in the classroom in positive ways. Not all the time, certainly, but some days. We have google classroom at my school as well as other programs and apps that are used for test taking, homework assignments, class review, quick formative assessments, etc. Many students prefer to use their own devices. It is good for us to be teaching kids how to use those devices well and responsibly. To be part of the conversation. Lets face it – that is probably how they will do a lot of work in the future, in college and beyond, so we need to start now. That said, as a teacher, I would encourage you not to communicate with your daughter during the day unless absolutely necessary. We are seeing so many kids who struggle to function without their parents. Her day is her day, yours is yours, and those conversations can wait until you are home. We all did it and grew up more independent and capable because of it. Again, that is simply my opinion based on what I see at school. I obviously don’t know your specific situation.
Yesterday I was listening to the radio when they were talking about apps that are disguised as something benign (like a calculator) but that can hide things inside behind an otherwise normal looking app. These apps are basically designed to help teens hide inappropriate content (including pics, texts, web searches, and more) from their parents. It’s important to check out all the apps our kids download, even the ones that seem harmless.
While we would all like to believe our own kids would never use an app like this, you never know if they have a friend who will. So it’s also important to have a conversation with out kids about what to do if a friend wants to show them their “really cool calculator app” or whatever. (The kids probably all know about these types of apps, but I bet there are many parents who don’t.) Having a strategy for how to avoid it is always a good thing.
I just wanted to thank you ladies for continuing to have such an important discussion about our kids safety online. I know it’s a scary topic, but we can’t bury our heads in the sand. It makes my heart happy to hear you reminding parents to start and continue to have these conversations with our kids.