Harrison Ford ingeniously eludes the law in The Fugitive. Disguising himself believably, he subjects himself to discomfort and stays ahead of the pursuing detectives. There is a nerve-racking point in the movie, however, when the team of detectives gets excited, knowing they have located his dwelling place. What tips them off? Orange peels and paper scraps: signs of life. Archaeologists experience similar excitement when they come across signs of ancient life. They painstakingly preserve even the smallest porcelain fragment so museum onlookers can admire the story it tells.
At home, however, coming across smelly food scraps and scattered dishes just doesn’t have the same appeal to a mother as it does to a detective or an archaeologist. Just yesterday, arriving home, a whiff of burnt toast told me that my daughter had fixed herself a snack while I was gone. The crumbs and drippy butter left on the counter gave further evidence of her doings. Additional “signs of life” surrounded me with each advance further into my home. I eyed shoes piled next to the bare storage rack. A damp towel lay heaped on the bedroom floor.
Suffocation was setting in. But my tired mind awoke as I recalled a conversation with a friend. Her words gave me the fresh air needed to forge ahead through those hazardous hallways. After complaining to her about how much running around and cleaning up I had to do, she had replied with this reality check: “Life would be pretty boring without my kids.” My negativity stopped in its tracks, as I remembered her recent loss of a family member, which I am sure contributed to her powerful perspective.
I suddenly saw those messy signs of life through new eyes. The crumbs on the counter came from energy-giving bread that filled the belly of my self-sufficient daughter. A towel on the floor meant my adolescent son’s regard for personal hygiene was growing! Shoes were tossed about because of our continuous involvements in active, meaningful pursuits.
A short time later I attended the memorial service for a young friend. The experience helped me to see that I am blessed through the mess. Displayed to his memory were various items indicating how he enjoyed spending his time: a Rubik’s cube, comic book volumes, an unfinished chain mail craft project. They all sat on display, never again to be enjoyed by this precious boy. Images still flash through my mind of his family having to gather these relics from his silent, empty bedroom.
My new understanding prompts me to look beyond the clutter on my own son’s dresser and bedroom floor. Like a detective, I start to wonder what structures he envisions will come of those Lego piles. And I marvel that he can solve all nine of those dusty Rubik’s cubes.
Make no mistake; I do consider it my job to train all members of my household to pick up after themselves. However, as any parent on the planet can attest, it is a challenge not quickly completed. This new way of thinking has been one way I cope with my current reality.
Once I admired the museum-like homes of retired women who decorate with exquisite vases and see the sunrise through fingerprint-free bay windows. But museums are for halted history. My life is in vibrant, living color. The signs are everywhere, splashed across the canvas of the home where we L-I-V-E.
QUESTION: What “signs of life” are around your home right now? What positive and powerful things to they represent?
CHALLENGE: When you see messes around your home this week, mindfully consider what those “signs of life” might really represent. How are you “blessed through the mess?” Say these thoughts out loud when you feel overwhelmed or discouraged.
Edited by Dawn Wessman and Sarah Monson.
Image from author with graphics by Anna Jenkins.
Beautiful! Thank you so much. Those memories, those signs of life, were so hard to gather and realize that the chainmail would never be finished, the Rubik cubes would go unsolved, and the comic books would bring a little sadness with the laughs. Thank you for reminding us; we are blessed to see signs of life all around us!
Yes, we are Katy.
I love Julia’s perspective. The signs of life in my kitchen are strawberry tops littering the counter and the empty bowls, which once contained strawberries, on the table. Towels from swimming in the laundry room, and Lego toys in the living room. Vibrant life…i had never thought of it like that before. Thanks Julia.
Towels are surely something hard to keep ahead of Kellie! Thanks for your comment.
Brilliantly written with the right amount of perspective, humor, and humanity – humanity as in we’re humans trying to keep a clean house. I have many signs of life but the most recent signs are tiny pieces of toilet paper torn by the tiny hands of a 1 year old. Thank you Julia!
That toilet paper can be so tempting for the toddlers to unravel! Reminds me of the book “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch.
Julia, this was perfect. It is way too easy to focus on the mess, and while I agree that we want to teach our children to be tidy, I too feel so grateful for the life that our children bring into our homes. Thank you for writing this!
And thanks to you for the platform, April. 🙂
Julia, your wisdom has always spoken volumes to me. Today the signs of life at my house are piles of white shirts, ties, dress pants and all the other odds and ends my son will need for his two year mission. One of the best/hardest times of my life. Can’t wait to read your future published articles. You are a wise and amazing lady.
Thank you very much, Kandace. Those fresh white shirts will be well used for good.
Thank you! I need this phrase running through my mind as I go throughout my day. When I put it in this perspective, I am a lot more happy and more mindful of the big picture. Maybe I’ll convince my daughters to make a mural of this phrase to hang above our biggest messes throughout the week….
I am the same with trying to hang on to the happy perspective that I felt when I wrote this.
I like the mural idea 🙂
I also like the door sign referenced in Allyson Reynolds’ article, “10 Good Reasons to Stop House Shaming” It says,
“Please excuse the mess, we’re livin’ it up in here!”
https://poweroffamilies.com/10-good-reasons-stop-house-shaming/
Wow! You drew me in with the Fugitive hook and took me to very familiar places. Then the sobering jolt of a child no longer leaving his/her traces. A lovely, gentle and effective story and lesson. Thanks, Julia.
I appreciate your comment.
Thank you for this perspective! I tend to get stressed out when my house is a mess, but I am going to try harder to appreciate the signs of life in my home.
Thank you for your many inspiring articles as well, Lynette.
I was curious to what the article would be about. It brought tears to my eyes as I remember the rubics cube, the chain mail, the unfinished goals he had. He led a full life and I miss him so much. Thank you for reminding me how precious life is…
He did lead a full life with so many interests. There are many things that will always remind us of him.
I loved it, Julia! I’m glad that you told me about it so I could look it up. It is so easy to lose perspective of what is most important–most meaningful. I have so many signs of life all around me in my house! A beautiful thought, very well expressed. Thanks for sharing it!
You are welcome Kristie. Thanks for looking it up 🙂
I am honored that you shared my article. Glad it helped you 🙂
@ Daisy Chain
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