Have you ever noticed when your kids want something, they’re front and center—about an inch from your nose, sometimes with a healthy dose of non-stop nagging? But when YOU need something done, all of sudden they’re in stealth mode or worse—defiant and uncooperative? Been there, seen that. So have most parents.
Is it too much to ask kids to make their bed, toss in a load of laundry, or at least pick up their shoes? No. It’s not too much to ask. But in today’s world where kids often feel entitled to have everything done for them—from cutting crusts off bread to helping with 7th grade science projects to delivering snacks to the sofa so they don’t miss a minute of their show—the division of labor is certainly is NOT in favor of the adults. The good news? This trend is totally reversible and not at all tough to implement.
Are you ready to motivate YOUR kids to pitch in without them pitching a fit? Check out these five tips to get started:
- Watch your words. There’s a big difference between a chore and a contribution. While it is just semantics, what you call the tasks in your kid’s to-do list is vital. Here’s why: call it a chore and it oozes work, burden, and un-fun. As a “family contribution” however? You’re empowering your kids, making them part of the bigger picture, and teaching them that everyone in the family contributes. After all, everyone enjoys the privileges.
- Show your appreciation. Let’s face it: no one likes dusting, emptying the dishwasher, GreaseCycle, or cleaning toothpaste from the sink. But, when your kids step up to contribute and you SHOW them you’re paying attention and appreciate their efforts, they get that they’re a valuable part of the team. That’s priceless. And it will go a long way towards defusing power struggles and promoting future cooperation.
- Cause and effect of the positive kind. Explain to your kids that their contributions make a difference: “You really helped the family tonight when you cleared the table and did the dishes. That gives us extra time to play a game or throw the ball; which would you like to do?” Through family contributions, each child will gain a sense of personal significance, as well as a feeling of belonging to a special team—namely, your family.
- Re-think rewards. Don’t hinge your kids’ allowance on their day-to-day family contributions or use other rewards to motivate them. Here’s why: when you use rewards as motivation, YOU set the expectation that kids should be paid for things that should be expected family responsibilities. That’s the opposite of what you want, right? (Remember, we’re trying to un-entitle our kids!) Allowance is an important tool to teach kids about spending, saving, and giving—but allowance shouldn’t be the “carrot” to get cooperation. Remind your kids how important their contributions are to the family and that everyone must pitch in to keep things running smoothly.
- Make contributions an “all-in” adventure. Even toddlers can do simple tasks, like passing out napkins at dinnertime or wiping down chairs with a sponge. Being “all-in” shows that no matter your age or skill level, everyone’s contribution matters. Kids of all ages will enjoy a sense of belonging, purpose, and satisfaction in being part of what makes your family hum—not to mention gain important skill development as well. How’s that for a win-win?
Try putting these five tips in place to promote more pitching in from your kids, and a lot less pitching fits. And that makes family life a lot more fun for everyone!
QUESTION: What contributions from your children would help your household run more smoothly? Which of Amy McCready’s suggestions excite you the most or seem most applicable to your situation?
CHALLENGE: Identify the one tip that speaks to you and write it some place visible. Role play or practice it alone or with your spouse. Give yourself a little mark or thumbs up each time you try it throughout the day.
BONUS: For more great ideas from Amy McCready, sign up for one of her fabulous FREE 1-hour webinars here.
Amy McCready is the Founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and the author of The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World.
Originally posted in 2016.
Edited by Dawn Wessman and Sarah Monson.
Feature image from Shutterstock, with graphics by Julie Finlayson.
Book images provided by author.
So, what do you do when it’s your HUSBAND that refuses to contribute?? Any pointers there?
Yes!!!.. Nikki.. I too would like to know the answer to your question. I love Power of Moms and everything I have learned about parenting and empowering myself. However, my dear hubby is a bit of an obstacle. Maybe this is not the right site for that conversation, but I would like learn how to face the troubles with a spouse who feels entitled and is not present when they sit on the couch all day! Help please! Or direct me where to find answers.
Achetez vos kamagra medicaments: Kamagra pharmacie en ligne – kamagra pas cher
pharmacies en ligne certifiГ©es: Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h – pharmacie en ligne france fiable pharmafst.com
pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance: pharmacie en ligne livraison europe – pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance pharmafst.com
Cialis sans ordonnance 24h: Tadalafil achat en ligne – Cialis en ligne tadalmed.shop
Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher: Achat Cialis en ligne fiable – Pharmacie en ligne Cialis sans ordonnance tadalmed.shop
Acheter Cialis 20 mg pas cher: Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher – Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher tadalmed.shop
Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher: Acheter Cialis – Tadalafil sans ordonnance en ligne tadalmed.shop
vente de mГ©dicament en ligne Pharmacie en ligne France pharmacie en ligne pas cher pharmafst.shop
Achetez vos kamagra medicaments: Kamagra pharmacie en ligne – Acheter Kamagra site fiable
Achat mГ©dicament en ligne fiable: Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h – pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance pharmafst.com
Pharmacie en ligne Cialis sans ordonnance: Tadalafil achat en ligne – Acheter Viagra Cialis sans ordonnance tadalmed.shop
https://tadalmed.shop/# Acheter Cialis
Acheter Kamagra site fiable: Kamagra Oral Jelly pas cher – achat kamagra
Cialis generique prix Tadalafil achat en ligne cialis prix tadalmed.com
trouver un mГ©dicament en pharmacie: Pharmacie Internationale en ligne – pharmacie en ligne avec ordonnance pharmafst.com
Tadalafil 20 mg prix en pharmacie: Achat Cialis en ligne fiable – cialis generique tadalmed.shop
Kamagra Oral Jelly pas cher: Achetez vos kamagra medicaments – acheter kamagra site fiable
Tadalafil achat en ligne cialis prix Tadalafil 20 mg prix sans ordonnance tadalmed.com
achat kamagra: kamagra pas cher – kamagra en ligne
Kamagra pharmacie en ligne Kamagra Oral Jelly pas cher Kamagra pharmacie en ligne
cialis sans ordonnance: Tadalafil achat en ligne – Tadalafil achat en ligne tadalmed.shop
cialis sans ordonnance: Acheter Cialis – cialis sans ordonnance tadalmed.shop
pharmacie en ligne avec ordonnance: Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h – pharmacies en ligne certifiГ©es pharmafst.com
Achat mГ©dicament en ligne fiable: Pharmacies en ligne certifiees – Pharmacie en ligne livraison Europe pharmafst.com
Acheter Kamagra site fiable: Acheter Kamagra site fiable – kamagra oral jelly
Achat mГ©dicament en ligne fiable: pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance – Pharmacie Internationale en ligne pharmafst.com
pharmacie en ligne france livraison belgique: Meilleure pharmacie en ligne – acheter mГ©dicament en ligne sans ordonnance pharmafst.com
pharmacies en ligne certifiГ©es Pharmacies en ligne certifiees pharmacies en ligne certifiГ©es pharmafst.shop
kamagra 100mg prix: kamagra livraison 24h – kamagra en ligne
kamagra oral jelly: acheter kamagra site fiable – Kamagra Oral Jelly pas cher
https://pharmafst.shop/# pharmacie en ligne france fiable
kamagra oral jelly: kamagra en ligne – kamagra oral jelly
Acheter Viagra Cialis sans ordonnance: Acheter Cialis – cialis prix tadalmed.shop
Acheter Kamagra site fiable: acheter kamagra site fiable – kamagra en ligne
Tadalafil achat en ligne: cialis generique – Cialis generique prix tadalmed.shop
achat kamagra: kamagra oral jelly – kamagra gel
Acheter Cialis: Tadalafil 20 mg prix en pharmacie – Achat Cialis en ligne fiable tadalmed.shop
Acheter Kamagra site fiable: achat kamagra – Kamagra Oral Jelly pas cher
Cialis en ligne Cialis sans ordonnance pas cher Cialis sans ordonnance 24h tadalmed.com
pharmacie en ligne fiable: pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance – Pharmacie Internationale en ligne pharmafst.com
Tadalafil achat en ligne: cialis prix – Tadalafil achat en ligne tadalmed.shop
Pharmacie sans ordonnance: pharmacie en ligne sans ordonnance – vente de mГ©dicament en ligne pharmafst.com
Pharmacie en ligne livraison Europe: Medicaments en ligne livres en 24h – pharmacie en ligne france fiable pharmafst.com
п»їpharmacie en ligne france pharmacie en ligne avec ordonnance pharmacie en ligne france fiable pharmafst.shop
indian pharmacy online: Medicine From India – indian pharmacy online
certified canadian international pharmacy: Buy medicine from Canada – ed drugs online from canada
canadian valley pharmacy ExpressRxCanada canadian pharmacy no rx needed
Rx Express Mexico: mexico drug stores pharmacies – mexican rx online
mexico pharmacy order online: mexican online pharmacy – buying prescription drugs in mexico
RxExpressMexico RxExpressMexico Rx Express Mexico
canada rx pharmacy: ExpressRxCanada – canada drugs online
mexican online pharmacy: Rx Express Mexico – mexico pharmacy order online
mexico drug stores pharmacies mexico drug stores pharmacies Rx Express Mexico
buy prescription drugs from canada cheap: Express Rx Canada – canadian neighbor pharmacy
Rx Express Mexico: mexican rx online – mexico pharmacies prescription drugs
Rx Express Mexico: mexican rx online – RxExpressMexico
RxExpressMexico mexican online pharmacy purple pharmacy mexico price list
indian pharmacy: Medicine From India – indian pharmacy online shopping
Rx Express Mexico mexico pharmacy order online RxExpressMexico
Medicine From India: Online medicine order – reputable indian online pharmacy
medicine courier from India to USA: medicine courier from India to USA – indian pharmacy online
reputable indian pharmacies: indian pharmacy – medicine courier from India to USA
medicine courier from India to USA: medicine courier from India to USA – MedicineFromIndia
mexican rx online mexican online pharmacy Rx Express Mexico
indian pharmacy online: medicine courier from India to USA – indian pharmacy online
indian pharmacy: indian pharmacy online – Medicine From India
Rx Express Mexico: mexico pharmacy order online – RxExpressMexico
пинап казино пин ап зеркало пин ап зеркало
pin up az: pinup az – pin up casino
pin-up casino giris pin-up pin-up
http://pinupaz.top/# pinup az
вавада казино: vavada casino – вавада казино