Author: Heidi Poelman
“Staying in love is harder than falling in love, no doubt about it” (pg. 20). With these words and some sobering statistics, author Heidi Poelman reminds us that marriage does not automatically come with a “happily ever after.” Only 40-50% of marriages stay intact, with most couples saying that they just “fell out of love”: no horrible or tragic event happened; spouses just simply drifted apart. This book aims to fix that. Full of research and great quotes from several different marriage experts, each chapter focuses on a different principle of strong marriages and then offers several two minute challenges that will strengthen your marriage and make it more meaningful, intimate, fulfilling, and fun.
The Part that I liked Best:
I really enjoyed the scope of ideas to better my own marriage that are available in this book. Ranging from ways to handle conflict and intimacy to understanding a spouse’s past history and their current love language, this book is full of “2 minute” suggestions that can benefit any marriage, no matter its current quality, or how long you have been married. It reminds us what we can individually do to improve our marriages and recommends not trying to change our spouse, but instead to be the change our marriages’ need. I recognized many great tips that I had learned at other times, but I was surprised at how many of them I have been forgetting to implement. This book was a great reminder for me to be more deliberate in my relationship with my husband and to get out of the rut that we sometimes find ourselves in.
How This Book Made an Impact In My Life, Especially as a Mother:
I recognize the huge impact that parents’ marriage, good or bad, has on a child. It often defines their expectations of how to be treated by the opposite sex (healthy or not), sets a standard for meaningful and deep relationships, and often dictates emotional and even physical health. Multiple studies have shown the overall negative effect that divorce has on children, and the benefits that come from being raised in a healthy and happy home with both parents. Admittedly, there are times when a marriage is very abusive or unhealthy and it is best for it to end, but for most lukewarm marriages that end in divorce, what a tragedy! Not only do I want the best for my children, but I want the best for myself as well! I am married to a wonderful man, one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And yet, with all of his wonderful-ness, sometimes marriage is difficult. Sometimes it is my fault and sometimes it is his. However, when we work together and we each strive to do what is important for the other, I start to get giddy about him all over again, just like when we were dating, but on a much deeper and fulfilling level. I can’t imagine a more wonderful place to be, happy with my best friend. And just think– all it takes is two minutes.
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